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New York SEL for Neurodivergent High School Students: A Teacher's Guide

Social-emotional learning (SEL) can support students as they develop self-awareness, navigate relationships, respond to challenges, understand different perspectives, and make decisions in school and beyond.
For educators supporting neurodivergent high-school students in New York, understanding the state's own SEL framework can provide a useful starting point, but a state standard or competency does not automatically explain how that learning goal may look for every student.
This guide explores New York's approach to SEL, its relevance to high-school students, and practical considerations for supporting neurodivergent learners.

New York SEL at a Glance

New York State frames social-emotional learning through the New York State Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Benchmarks, which are explicitly integrated with the state's Culturally Responsive-Sustaining (CR-SE) Education Framework and Every Student Succeeds Act (ESSA) Plan.

Official Framework & Core Terminology

Framework Name: New York State Social Emotional Learning (SEL) Benchmarks.
Structure & Terminology:
Organized into 3 Overarching Goals aligned with CASEL's 5 core competencies. Key state terminology includes Social Emotional Learning Benchmarks, Identity, Agency, Belonging, Culturally Responsive-Sustaining (CR-SE) Practices, and Whole Child Education.

Grade Ranges & High School Applicability

Grade Bands: PreK–12 continuum structured across five grade bands (PreK–K, 1–2, 3–5, 6–8, and Grades 9–12 / High School).
High School Relevance: PreK–12 continuum across five grade bands: K–2, 3–5, 6–8, Early High School (Grades 9–10), and Late High School (Grades 11–12).

Core Competencies Overview

  • Goal 1: Develop self-awareness that nurtures and affirms a strong sense of identity, informs decisions about personal actions, and builds a sense of agency.
  • Goal 2: Use social awareness and interpersonal skills to establish and maintain mutually supportive relationships with individuals and groups and nurture a strong sense of belonging.
  • Goal 3: Demonstrate intentional decision-making skills and behaviors that consider social, emotional, and physical safety and well-being in personal, family, school, and community contexts.

Educator Mandate: State Explanation & Interpretation

The New York State Education Department (NYSED) provides its SEL Benchmarks as a voluntary framework designed for systemic, whole-school integration rather than standalone, isolated instruction. NYSED explicitly connects SEL to its ESSA plan, Multi-Tiered Systems of Support (MTSS), and the CR-SE Framework to enhance school climate, support mental wellness, and drive educational equity. The state emphasizes that SEL benchmarks are learning targets to guide supportive classroom environments, not punitive tools or behavioral grading rubrics.

High School Competency Breakdown for Neurodivergent Learners

1. Self-Awareness (Goal 1 Domain)

  • What the State Identifies: Recognizing emotions, identifying strengths/interests, understanding body reactions to feelings, and affirming a strong personal and cultural identity.
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Recognizing signs of sensory and academic burnout, exploring neurodivergence as a valued aspect of identity, and understanding personal learning needs.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: High school Autistic and ADHD students frequently experience alexithymia (difficulty naming internal emotional states) or delayed interoceptive awareness. Mandating immediate cognitive reflection on emotions without teaching physiological body awareness skips the necessary baseline step.
  • Communication Considerations: Utilize non-verbal check-ins, visual body maps, or digital mood tracking tools rather than demanding immediate, on-the-spot verbal emotional identification.

2: Self-Management (Goal 1 Domain)

  • What the State Identifies: Applying self-regulation techniques, managing stress, demonstrating goal-directed behavior, and practicing perseverance and agency.
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Managing high-stakes academic workloads, coping with sensory overload in crowded halls/auditoriums, and executing steps toward post-secondary goals.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: Executive dysfunction (working memory, task initiation, cognitive flexibility) and sensory processing differences heavily impact self-management. Do not misinterpret sensory overload or executive burnout as willful non-compliance or laziness.
  • Communication Considerations: Offer predictable visual schedules, pre-arranged sensory recovery passes, and structured transition supports rather than relying solely on abstract "self-control" prompts.

    • 3. Social Awareness (Goal 2 Domain)

    • What the State Identifies: Empathizing with others, understanding diverse perspectives and cultural backgrounds, recognizing systemic influences, and nurturing belonging.
    • What This Looks Like in High School: Participating in diverse peer groups, recognizing differing communication styles, and analyzing social contexts in history or literature classes.
    • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: Apply Damian Milton's Double Empathy Problem. Social friction is often a bi-directional mismatch in communication styles between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals, not a one-sided neurodivergent empathy deficit.
    • Communication Considerations: Present social norms as explicit, contextual rules to navigate rather than moral imperatives. Validate authentic neurodivergent interaction styles while offering functional tools to decode peer dynamics.

    4. Relationship Skills (Goal 2 Domain)

    • What the State Identifies: Communicating effectively, establishing and maintaining mutually supportive relationships, resolving conflicts, and resisting negative peer pressure.
    • What This Looks Like in High School: Collaborating on group projects, asserting personal boundaries with peers, and communicating accommodation needs to school staff.
    • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: Forced masking (suppressing natural traits to pass as neurotypical) leads to severe mental health fatigue and burnout. Relationship goals should prioritize authentic communication and mutual respect over neurotypical conformity.
    • Communication Considerations: Explicitly teach paralinguistics (decoding pitch, volume, speech rate, and posture) as objective context signals. Never demand forced eye contact or suppress natural self-regulatory movements (stimming).

    5. Responsible Decision-Making (Goal 3 Domain)

    • What the State Identifies: Evaluating choices considering safety, ethics, personal well-being, and community impact, and engaging in intentional problem-solving.
    • What This Looks Like in High School: Making choices regarding academic accommodations, managing post-secondary planning decisions, and navigating peer dynamics ethically.
    • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: High stress and executive dysfunction can cause decision fatigue and working memory overload in neurodivergent teens. Structured decision-making models eliminate cognitive barriers to effective action.
    • Communication Considerations: Frame self-advocacy as a core decision-making skill. Provide choice matrices and email templates so students can request accommodations from instructors with minimal social friction.

    Neurodivergent Interpretation of NYSED SEL Benchmarks

    NYSED’s SEL framework is explicitly grounded in Culturally Responsive-Sustaining (CR-SE) principles, which emphasize affirming student identity, agency, and belonging. For neurodivergent high schoolers, equity means treating neurodiversity as a natural form of human variation rather than a behavioral deficit. True self-management and relationship skills develop when students are taught internal bodily awareness (interoception) and objective communication channels (paralinguistics) without being forced to mask.
    To align NYSED's CR-SE and SEL goals with practical neurodivergent instruction, explore the Neurodivergent Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) Course curriculum, designed to teach internal body regulation and authentic communication without forcing masking.

    Applying SEL in Practice: High School Classroom Examples

    Example 1: Interoception & Stress Management (Goal 1 / Self-Management)

    • Scenario: A 9th-grade Autistic student experiences intense anxiety and shutdowns during crowded Regents exam preparation sessions or noisy science labs.
    • SEL Strategy: Aligned with NYSED Goal 1 self-regulation benchmarks, the student uses an interoception check-in scale to track physiological distress indicators (e.g., shallow breathing, shoulder tension). The student uses a pre-arranged accommodation pass to move to a quiet resource space for 5 minutes before emotional dysregulation triggers a shutdown.

    Example 2: Paralinguistic Decoding in Academic Groups (Goal 2 / Relationship Skills)

    • Scenario: An 11th-grade ADHD student in a Social Studies seminar speaks at a high volume and rapid tempo when passionate, which peers misinterpret as aggressive.
    • SEL Strategy: Supporting Goal 2 relationship competencies, the teacher delivers a mini-lesson on paralinguistics (how pitch, volume, and cadence alter message reception). The group adopts an objective communication rubric to evaluate discussion points based on message content rather than vocal inflection.

    Example 3: Self-Advocacy Matrix for Post-Secondary Transitions (Goal 3 / Decision-Making)

    • Scenario: A 12th-grade student with executive function challenges struggles to ask teachers for extended deadlines on senior capstone projects, risking graduation credits.
    • SEL Strategy: Grounded in Goal 3 decision-making benchmarks, the student uses a 3-step self-advocacy framework: (1) Identify the project roadblock 48 hours early, (2) Select an approved accommodation option, and (3) Utilize a pre-formatted email template to submit the request to the teacher.

    State-Specific FAQs

    Are high schools in New York legally mandated to teach SEL?

    • NYSED provides the SEL Benchmarks for voluntary implementation. However, schools are required under NYSED ESSA regulations, Mental Health Education legislation (Chapter 390), and School Climate initiatives to integrate mental health and social-emotional supports across the K–12 curriculum.

    How do NYSED SEL Benchmarks align with the Culturally Responsive-Sustaining (CR-SE) Framework for neurodivergent students?

    • The CR-SE framework views diversity (including neurodiversity) as an asset. NYSED SEL Benchmarks emphasize affirming student identity and creating inclusive environments. Accommodations listed in an IEP or 504 plan are recognized as vital tools that ensure equitable access to SEL competencies. access points necessary for neurodivergent students to demonstrate competence without penalty.

    Should New York high schools assign grades for SEL competencies on report cards?

    • No. NYSED intends the SEL Benchmarks to serve as developmental targets for formative assessment, self-reflection, and instructional planning, not as subjective criteria for summative report card grading.
    Go Deeper

    Want to explore these communication skills further?

    SpeechScape’s Neurodivergent SEL course provides a practical way to explore the communication skills behind SEL, including tone, facial expressions, emotional awareness, and social context. With structured lessons and real-world audio examples, it can complement SEL teaching for neurodivergent teens and adults.
    100+ audio examples | 33 topics | Lifetime access
    explore the course

    Understanding SEL in High School

    SEL does not end in elementary school.
    For high school students, social and emotional learning may intersect with increasingly complex situations involving friendships, group work, classroom participation, conflict, communication with teachers, employment preparation, further education, and greater independence.
    For neurodivergent students, these situations can involve communication and social demands that are not always obvious.
    A student may:
    • understand a literal message but not an implied one
    • find tone of voice difficult to interpret
    • communicate differently from peers
    • need more explicit information about an interaction
    • find it difficult to recognize or describe changing internal states
    • communicate less effectively when stressed
    • need alternative ways to participate
    These differences do not automatically represent a lack of social or emotional competence.
    The goal is to support students in understanding themselves, understanding different communication styles, and developing strategies and choices that are useful to them.

    What Are the Core SEL Skills?

    SEL is often described through five broad areas: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. CASEL uses these as five interconnected areas of competence, although states do not all adopt the CASEL framework or terminology directly.

    Self-awareness

    Understanding emotions, thoughts, preferences, needs, strengths, and internal experiences.
    For a neurodivergent learner, this might include recognizing communication preferences, identifying emotional or physical signals, or developing language to describe what is happening during a challenging interaction.

    Self-management

    Managing emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that support a student's goals and circumstances.
    In communication, this might involve recognizing when stress is affecting an interaction and considering whether to pause, seek clarification, use an alternative strategy, or ask for support.

    Social awareness

    Understanding other people's perspectives and recognizing that people may communicate, respond, or interpret situations differently.
    This can include exploring tone, pacing, facial expression, body language, context, and different communication styles.

    Relationship skills

    Building and maintaining relationships through communication, listening, cooperation, problem-solving, boundaries, and repair after misunderstandings.

    Responsible decision-making

    Considering context, possible consequences, and available options when deciding how to respond.
    These skills often overlap in real-world communication.

    SEL and communication

    Communication is one of the many ways students apply SEL skills.

    SEL area

    Communication connection

    Self-awareness
    Recognizing emotions, internal signals, communication preferences, and personal needs.
    Self-management
    Managing communication when stress, frustration, or strong emotions affect an interaction.
    Social awareness
    Interpreting tone, pacing, facial expression, body language, context, and different communication styles.
    Relationship skills
    Navigating conversations, misunderstandings, disagreement, collaboration, and communication repair.
    Responsible decision-making
    Considering possible interpretations and choosing how to respond in different situations.
    For neurodivergent learners, making these communication patterns explicit can provide a practical bridge between broad SEL goals and everyday experiences.
    Read more: SEL and Communication: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners

    Communication Beyond the Words

    Some meaning in communication comes through more than the words themselves.
    Tone of voice, pitch, pacing, volume, pauses, facial expression, body language, and context can all affect how a message is interpreted.
    For some neurodivergent learners, these features may be difficult to interpret or may be interpreted differently from the people around them.

    Educators can explore questions such as:

    • How does the same sentence sound when the tone changes?
    • How can context change the interpretation of a message?
    • What can a student do when they are unsure what someone meant?
    • How can different communication styles coexist without assuming that one is automatically correct?

    Interoception and Self-Awareness

    Interoception refers broadly to awareness of signals originating within the body.
    In a communication-focused learning context, discussing interoception can provide one way to explore connections among internal states, emotions, communication, and everyday experiences.
    A student might notice that they are becoming tense, that their heart is beating faster, that thinking has become more difficult, or that an interaction suddenly feels uncomfortable.
    Rather than assuming that a particular physical sensation always has one meaning, educators can encourage students to explore:
    SpeechScape incorporates relevant interoception concepts in the context of communication and emotional awareness. It is not a sensory therapy program; rather, these concepts are used to support communication awareness and understanding of internal states in everyday situations.

    Supporting Communication Without Teaching One "Correct" Way to Communicate

    SEL instruction for neurodivergent students should not automatically become instruction in how to appear more neurotypical.
    A student does not necessarily need to change a natural communication style simply because it differs from the style expected by another person.

    Instead, educators can help students:

    • understand different communication patterns
    • recognize that communication can be interpreted differently
    • identify their own preferences and needs
    • ask for clarification
    • communicate boundaries and needs
    • repair misunderstandings
    • consider different response options
    • choose strategies that are useful in particular situations
    The goal is greater understanding, flexibility, and communication choice—not compliance with a single social norm.

    Practical SEL Applications for Neurodivergent High-School Students

    SEL becomes more meaningful when students can connect concepts with situations they actually encounter.

    Tone and meaning

    Compare different ways of saying the same words and explore how tone, pacing, or volume can influence interpretation.

    Communication preferences

    Explore what makes communication easier or more difficult for individual students and what support they may need.

    Recognizing internal signals

    Identify physical or emotional changes that students associate with stress, frustration, excitement, discomfort, or other experiences.

    Communication breakdowns

    Discuss what students can do when they are unsure what someone meant or when someone has misunderstood them.

    Relationship skills

    Explore conversations, collaboration, disagreement, boundaries, perspective-taking, and communication repair.

    Real-world communication

    Connect learning with group projects, teacher interactions, workplace preparation, interviews, friendships, and other situations relevant to life beyond school.

    Explore more SEL activities for neurodivergent students

    A Practical Communication Focused SEL Resource

    SpeechScape's Neurodivergent Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) Course explores communication skills that can intersect with SEL, including paralinguistic communication, tone of voice, direct and indirect language, nonverbal communication, social context, relationship skills, and interoception-related emotional awareness.
    The course uses practical examples and professionally recorded audio to help learners explore not only what people say, but how communication can be expressed and interpreted.
    For educators, it can provide a resource for exploring communication-related aspects of SEL with neurodivergent learners in high-school, transition, and other settings.

    Explore SpeechScape's SEL Course

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