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SEL in Virginia for Neurodivergent High-School Students: A Teacher's Guide

Social-emotional learning (SEL) can support students as they develop self-awareness, navigate relationships, respond to challenges, understand different perspectives, and make decisions in school and beyond.
However, states do not all have a dedicated statewide SEL standards framework.
For educators in Virginia, understanding what the state does and does not provide can be a useful starting point. This guide identifies relevant state guidance, frameworks, competencies, or related education resources and considers what they may mean for supporting neurodivergent high school students.

Virginia SEL at a Glance

The Virginia Department of Education (VDOE) established Virginia’s Social Emotional Learning Guidance Standards in 2021, explicitly aligning social-emotional skill development with Virginia’s Profile of a Graduate (the "5 Cs": Critical Thinking, Creative Thinking, Communication, Collaboration, and Citizenship).

Official Framework & Core Terminology

Framework Name: Virginia’s Social Emotional Learning Guidance Standards.
Structure & Terminology: Organized into 5 Core Competencies directly aligned with CASEL and Virginia’s Profile of a Graduate. Key state terminology includes Guidance Standards, Profile of a Graduate, Advancing Equity, Uplifting Student Voice, and Grade Bands.

Grade Ranges & High School Applicability

Grade Bands: PreK–12 developmental continuum structured across grade bands: Kindergarten, Grades 1–2, Grades 3–4, Grades 5–6, Grades 7–8, Grade Band 9–10, and Grade Band 11–12.
High School Relevance: For high schoolers (13+ / Grades 9–12), Virginia’s standards focus on analyzing complex emotional triggers and body signals, developing self-efficacy, evaluating personal support systems, active listening, conflict resolution, understanding systemic advantages/biases, and preparing for post-secondary life.

Core Competencies Overview

  1. Self-Awareness: Recognizing emotions, connecting body signals to thought patterns, identifying strengths and challenges, and building self-efficacy.
  2. Self-Management: Regulating emotions and stress levels, maintaining confidence through challenges, and setting/monitoring long-term goals.
  3. Social Awareness: Demonstrating empathy, recognizing systemic factors and unconscious bias, and showing respect for diverse abilities and backgrounds.
  4. Relationship Skills: Utilizing active listening, collaborating across diverse teams, resolving conflicts peacefully, and standing up against discrimination.
  5. Decision-Making: Making reasoned judgments after analyzing information, evaluating short- and long-term impacts, and applying ethical reasoning.

Educator Mandate: State Explanation & Interpretation

VDOE envisions SEL as a process to advance equity, uplift student voice, and infuse social-emotional development into the broader school climate and Virginia's Profile of a Graduate. VDOE provides the Guidance Standards for voluntary local adoption. State guidance explicitly emphasizes that SEL standards represent developmental learning targets designed to cultivate supportive school environments—not subjective criteria for behavioral grading rubrics or punitive tracking.

High School Resiliency Breakdown for Neurodivergent Learners

1. Self-Awareness

  • What the State Identifies: Interpreting connections between complex emotions, body signals, and thought patterns; planning post-secondary goals; and expressing pride in identity (Standards SeA1 & SeA2).
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Identifying personal sensory limits, anticipating stress triggers before exams, and understanding one's neurodivergent profile during IEP/504 transition planning.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: High school Autistic and ADHD teens frequently experience alexithymia (difficulty naming emotions) or delayed interoceptive awareness. Expecting emotional self-reflection without first teaching bodily awareness bypasses essential physiological processing.
  • Communication Considerations: Use non-verbal check-ins, visual body maps, or digital mood-tracking scales rather than requiring immediate, on-the-spot verbal emotional identification.

2. Self-Management

  • What the State Identifies: Examining healthy/unhealthy stress levels, applying coping skills to regulate stress, demonstrating perseverance, and setting goals (Standards SeM1 & SeM2).
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Managing high-stakes academic workloads, coping with sensory overload in crowded halls/auditoriums, and maintaining progress on multi-step projects.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: Executive dysfunction (working memory limits, initiation inertia) and sensory processing overload directly impact self-management. Do not misinterpret executive burnout or sensory overload as intentional laziness or non-compliance.
  • Communication Considerations: Provide predictable visual schedules, pre-arranged sensory recovery passes, and structured transition supports rather than relying solely on abstract "self-control" prompts.

3. Social Awareness

  • What the State Identifies: Predicting how actions affect others, showing positive regard for peers with different abilities, and recognizing systemic context and bias (Standards SoA1 & SoA2).
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Participating in diverse peer groups, understanding differing communication styles, and analyzing social/institutional dynamics in academic courses.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: Apply Damian Milton's Double Empathy Problem. Social friction is often a bi-directional mismatch in communication styles between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals, not a one-sided neurodivergent empathy deficit.
  • Communication Considerations: Present social norms as explicit, contextual rules to navigate rather than moral imperatives. Validate authentic neurodivergent interaction styles while offering functional tools to decode peer dynamics.

4. Relationship Skills

  • What the State Identifies: Actively listening, collaborating across diverse teams, resolving conflicts peacefully, and standing up to prejudice or discrimination (Standards ReS1 & ReS2).
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Partnering on group assignments, asserting personal boundaries with peers, and communicating accommodation needs to teachers and employers.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: Forced masking (suppressing natural traits to pass as neurotypical) leads to severe mental health fatigue and burnout. Relationship goals should prioritize authentic communication and mutual clarity over neurotypical conformity.
  • Communication Considerations: Explicitly teach paralinguistics (decoding vocal pitch, cadence, volume, and posture) as objective context signals. Never demand forced eye contact or suppress natural self-regulatory movements (stimming).

5. Decision-Making

  • What the State Identifies: Making reasoned judgments after analyzing information, evaluating short- and long-term impacts, and applying ethical reasoning (Standards DeM1 & DeM2).
  • What This Looks Like in High School: Making choices regarding academic accommodations, managing post-secondary planning decisions, and navigating peer dynamics ethically.
  • Neurodivergent Teaching Considerations: High stress and cognitive overload can cause decision fatigue and working memory breakdown in neurodivergent teens. Structured decision-making templates remove cognitive barriers to effective action.
  • Communication Considerations: Frame self-advocacy as a core decision-making skill. Provide choice matrices and email templates so students can request accommodations from instructors with minimal social friction.

Neurodivergent Interpretation of Virginia SEL

Virginia’s SEL framework explicitly links social-emotional growth with equity, student voice, and the Profile of a Graduate. For neurodivergent high schoolers, equity and student voice require recognizing neurodiversity as a natural form of human variation. Developing true self-management and interpersonal skills requires teaching internal bodily awareness (interoception) and objective communication channels (paralinguistics) in real-world contexts without forcing behavioral masking.
To align VDOE’s Profile of a Graduate and SEL goals with practical neurodivergent instruction, explore the Neurodivergent Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) Course curriculum, designed to build internal body regulation and clear communication without forcing masking.

Applying SEL in Practice: High School Classroom Examples

Example 1: Interoception & Stress Management (Self-Management)

  • Scenario: A 9th-grade Autistic student experiences intense anxiety and shutdowns during noisy chemistry lab preparation sessions.
  • SEL Strategy: Aligned with VDOE Self-Management benchmarks (SeM1), the student tracks physiological stress markers (e.g., muscle tightness, shallow breathing) using an interoception check-in log. The student uses a pre-arranged pass to step into a low-stimulation resource space for 5 minutes before returning to safely complete lab work.

Example 2: Paralinguistic Decoding in Academic Seminars (Relationship Skills)

  • Scenario: An 11th-grade ADHD student in a history discussion speaks rapidly at a high volume when passionate, which group members misinterpret as aggressive.
  • SEL Strategy: Supporting VDOE Relationship Skills benchmarks (ReS1), the teacher delivers a mini-lesson on paralinguistics (how pitch, volume, and pacing alter message delivery). The group adopts an objective communication rubric to evaluate discussion points based on content rather than vocal inflection.

Example 3: Self-Advocacy Matrix for Profile of a Graduate Goals (Decision-Making)

  • Scenario: A 12th-grade student with executive function challenges struggles to ask teachers for extended deadlines on senior capstone projects, risking graduation credits.
  • SEL Strategy: Grounded in VDOE Decision-Making benchmarks (DeM1), the student uses a 3-step self-advocacy framework: (1) Identify the project roadblock 48 hours early, (2) Select an approved IEP/504 accommodation option, and (3) Use a structured email template to submit the request to the teacher.

State-Specific FAQs

Are high schools in Virginia legally required to teach SEL?

  • No. VDOE created the SEL Guidance Standards to provide a voluntary framework for school divisions. However, school divisions are encouraged to integrate SEL into local curricula, student counseling programs, and initiatives supporting Virginia's Profile of a Graduate.

How do Virginia SEL Guidance Standards accommodate neurodivergent students with IEPs or 504 Plans?

  • VDOE explicitly frames SEL through an equity and student-centered lens. Accommodations listed in an IEP or 504 plan, such as visual decision templates, sensory passes, or modified communication formats, serve as essential access points that allow students to build competency without penalty.

Should Virginia high schools assign report card grades for SEL standards?

  • No. VDOE intends the SEL Guidance Standards to serve as developmental benchmarks for formative growth, self-reflection, and school climate improvement, not as criteria for summative report card grading.
Go Deeper

Want to explore these communication skills further?

SpeechScape’s Neurodivergent SEL course provides a practical way to explore the communication skills behind SEL, including tone, facial expressions, emotional awareness, and social context. With structured lessons and real-world audio examples, it can complement SEL teaching for neurodivergent teens and adults.
100+ audio examples | 33 topics | Lifetime access
explore the course

Understanding SEL in High School

SEL does not end in elementary school.
For high school students, social and emotional learning may intersect with increasingly complex situations involving friendships, group work, classroom participation, conflict, communication with teachers, employment preparation, further education, and greater independence.
For neurodivergent students, these situations can involve communication and social demands that are not always obvious.
A student may:
  • understand a literal message but not an implied one
  • find tone of voice difficult to interpret
  • communicate differently from peers
  • need more explicit information about an interaction
  • find it difficult to recognize or describe changing internal states
  • communicate less effectively when stressed
  • need alternative ways to participate
These differences do not automatically represent a lack of social or emotional competence.
The goal is to support students in understanding themselves, understanding different communication styles, and developing strategies and choices that are useful to them.

What Are the Core SEL Skills?

SEL is often described through five broad areas: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making. CASEL uses these as five interconnected areas of competence, although states do not all adopt the CASEL framework or terminology directly.

Self-awareness

Understanding emotions, thoughts, preferences, needs, strengths, and internal experiences.

Self-management

Managing emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that support a student's goals and circumstances.

Social awareness

Understanding other people's perspectives and recognizing that people may communicate, respond, or interpret situations differently.

Relationship skills

Building and maintaining relationships through communication, listening, cooperation, problem-solving, boundaries, and repair after misunderstandings.

Responsible decision-making

Considering context, possible consequences, and available options when deciding how to respond.

SEL and communication

Communication is one of the many ways students apply SEL skills.

SEL area

Communication connection

Self-awareness
Recognizing emotions, internal signals, communication preferences, and personal needs.
Self-management
Managing communication when stress, frustration, or strong emotions affect an interaction.
Social awareness
Interpreting tone, pacing, facial expression, body language, context, and different communication styles.
Relationship skills
Navigating conversations, misunderstandings, disagreement, collaboration, and communication repair.
Responsible decision-making
Considering possible interpretations and choosing how to respond.
For neurodivergent learners, making these communication patterns explicit can provide a practical bridge between broad SEL goals and everyday experiences.
Read more: SEL and Communication: Supporting Neurodivergent Learners

Communication Beyond the Words

Some information in a conversation is communicated through more than the words themselves.
Tone of voice, pitch, pacing, volume, pauses, facial expression, body language, and context can all influence interpretation.
For some neurodivergent learners, these features may be difficult to interpret or may be interpreted differently from the people around them.

Educators can explore questions such as:

  • How does the same sentence sound when the tone changes?
  • What role does context play?
  • What can a student do when they are unsure what someone meant?
  • How can different communication styles coexist?

Interoception and Self-Awareness

Interoception refers broadly to awareness of signals originating within the body.
In a communication-focused learning context, discussing interoception can provide one way to explore connections among internal states, emotions, communication, and everyday experiences.
A student might notice that they are becoming tense, that their heart is beating faster, that thinking has become more difficult, or that an interaction suddenly feels uncomfortable.
Rather than assuming that a particular physical sensation always has one meaning, educators can encourage students to explore:
SpeechScape incorporates relevant interoception concepts in the context of communication and emotional awareness. It is not a sensory therapy program; rather, these concepts are used to support communication awareness and understanding of internal states in everyday situations.

Supporting Communication Without Teaching One "Correct" Way to Communicate

SEL instruction for neurodivergent students should not automatically become instruction in how to appear more neurotypical.
A student does not necessarily need to change a natural communication style simply because it differs from the style expected by another person.

Instead, educators can help students:

  • understand different communication patterns
  • recognize that communication can be interpreted differently
  • identify their own preferences and needs
  • ask for clarification
  • communicate boundaries and needs
  • repair misunderstandings
  • consider different response options
  • choose strategies that are useful in particular situations
The goal is greater understanding, flexibility, and communication choice—not compliance with a single social norm.

Practical SEL Applications for Neurodivergent High-School Students

SEL becomes more meaningful when students can connect concepts with situations they actually encounter.

Tone and meaning

Compare different ways of saying the same words and explore how tone, pacing, or volume can influence interpretation.

Communication preferences

Explore what makes communication easier or more difficult for individual students and what support they may need.

Recognizing internal signals

Identify physical or emotional changes that students associate with stress, frustration, excitement, discomfort, or other experiences.

Communication breakdowns

Discuss what students can do when they are unsure what someone meant or when someone has misunderstood them.

Relationship skills

Explore conversations, collaboration, disagreement, boundaries, perspective-taking, and communication repair.

Real-world communication

Connect learning with group projects, teacher interactions, workplace preparation, interviews, friendships, and other situations relevant to life beyond school.

Explore more SEL activities for neurodivergent students

A Practical Communication Focused SEL Resource

SpeechScape's Neurodivergent Social & Emotional Learning (SEL) Course explores communication skills that can intersect with SEL, including paralinguistic communication, tone of voice, direct and indirect language, nonverbal communication, social context, relationship skills, and interoception-related emotional awareness.
The course uses practical examples and professionally recorded audio to help learners explore not only what people say, but how communication can be expressed and interpreted.
For educators, it can provide a resource for exploring communication-related aspects of SEL with neurodivergent learners in high-school, transition, and other settings.

Explore SpeechScape's SEL Course

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