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Social Communication Skills Checklist for Autistic Teens

11/09/2026
An image of a teenage boy in a hoodie and jeans sitting on the sofa. He is engage in a conversation with his mother who is facing towards him and she has a clipboard and pen, and she appears to be taking notes. At the bottom a graphic has the text 'Social Communication Skills Checklist for Autistic Teens' with a SpeechScape logo.
FOR NEURODIVERGENT TEENS 13+
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Social communication can look different for every autistic teenager.

Some autistic teens are highly verbal but find conversations exhausting. Others may communicate more comfortably through writing, text, AAC, gestures or other forms of communication. Some may enjoy social interaction but find certain situations difficult to navigate. Others may prefer limited social interaction and feel perfectly comfortable with that choice.
Rather than asking whether an autistic teenager is “good” or “bad” at social skills, it can be more useful to ask:
What communication strategies help this young person participate, express themselves, understand others and advocate for what they need?
This social communication skills checklist is designed to help parents, teachers and autistic teens identify areas of strength and areas where additional support may be helpful.
It is not a diagnostic tool or a test that autistic teens need to pass.

What is social communication?

Social communication involves how we use communication to connect with other people and participate in different environments.
According to the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA), social communication includes areas such as social interaction, social understanding, pragmatics and language processing. It can involve spoken language as well as nonverbal and alternative forms of communication.
For autistic teenagers, social communication might include:
  • starting or joining a conversation
  • maintaining a conversation
  • changing topics
  • asking and answering questions
  • explaining an idea or experience
  • understanding tone of voice
  • interpreting gestures and facial expressions
  • recognizing when someone has misunderstood
  • repairing a communication breakdown
  • understanding indirect or figurative language
  • expressing feelings and needs
  • advocating for communication preferences
  • navigating different communication environments
  • communicating with teachers, peers, family members and unfamiliar people
Importantly, not every autistic person will communicate in the same way, and not every difference needs to be changed.
The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) recognizes that communication behaviors are influenced by individual, cultural and social factors and that neurodiversity should be considered when assessing and supporting communication.

A neuro-affirming way to use a social communication checklist

A checklist can be useful when it helps us understand a teenager's communication needs.
It becomes less useful when it is used to measure how closely an autistic person can imitate non-autistic communication.
For example, maintaining eye contact is not necessarily a meaningful measure of communication competence. An autistic student may listen more effectively while looking away, moving their body or using another form of sensory regulation.
Instead of asking:
"Does this student make enough eye contact?"
Consider asking:
“Does this student have a comfortable way to show that they are listening and engaged?”
The goal is not to eliminate autistic communication differences.
The goal is to help the teenager communicate effectively, understand other people, be understood, participate in meaningful activities, and advocate for themselves.

Social Communication Skills Checklist for Autistic Teens

1. Starting and joining conversations

An autistic teenager may benefit from support with:
Starting a conversation when they want to interact with someone
Knowing different ways to enter an existing conversation
Greeting someone in a way that feels comfortable to them
Getting someone's attention
Introducing themselves
Asking someone about a shared interest
Recognizing when another person may be available for conversation
Ending a conversation
Communicating when they do not want to continue a conversation

Remember

There isn't one “correct” way to initiate a conversation.
A teenager might prefer:
  • speaking
  • texting
  • messaging
  • writing
  • using augmentative and alternative communication (AAC)
  • sharing an image or link
  • discussing a special interest
  • waiting for someone else to initiate
The important question is whether they have communication options that work for them.

2. Maintaining a conversation

Consider whether the teenager can:
Stay with a topic they are interested in
Recognize when another person wants to change the topic
Ask follow-up questions
Answer questions with an appropriate amount of information for the situation
Introducing themselves
Share relevant information about themselves
Take conversational turns
Recognize when a conversation has ended
Explain when they need more time to respond
Ask someone to clarify what they mean
Return to a conversation after an interruption
ASHA identifies topic maintenance, initiation, responsiveness, turn-taking and communication repair as components that may be considered when looking at social communication.
However, conversational differences do not automatically indicate a lack of communication competence.
For example, an autistic teenager who enthusiastically discusses a special interest may have excellent knowledge and expressive language while still benefiting from support in recognizing whether their conversation partner wants to continue, change topics or take a break.
The important question is whether they have communication options that work for them.

3. Understanding tone of voice and non-verbal vocal cues (paralinguistic communication)

Communication involves much more than the words we say.
Paralinguistic communication refers to the non-verbal vocal cues, including:
  • tone
  • pitch
  • volume
  • rate of speech
  • stress
  • emphasis
  • pauses
  • rhythm
  • vocal quality
Consider whether the teenager can:
Notice when someone's tone sounds different from their words
Recognize common emotional cues in someone's voice
Identify changes in emphasis
Answer questions with an appropriate amount of information for the situation
Recognize when someone sounds uncertain
Distinguish a serious statement from playful communication when context supports it
Recognize when someone may be frustrated or excited
Explain when another person's tone is difficult to interpret
Ask for clarification rather than having to guess
ASHA specifically identifies speech prosody, which includes stress and intonation, as an aspect of social communication.
This can be an especially useful area for explicit teaching because the meaning of spoken language is sometimes carried partly by how something is said rather than just what is said.

4. Understanding nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication can include:
  • facial expression
  • gestures
  • posture
  • body position
  • physical distance
  • gaze
  • movement
Consider whether the teenager can:
Recognize commonly used gestures
Interpret obvious facial expressions when context is available
Notice changes in someone's body language
Understand that body language can have different meanings in different situations
Recognize when another person appears uncomfortable
Communicate their own boundaries without relying on conventional body language
Explain when another person's nonverbal communication is confusing.
ASHA emphasizes that nonverbal communication is influenced by culture, context and individual differences.
This is important because eye contact, facial expression and body language should not be treated as universal measures of whether someone is interested, respectful or listening.

5. Understanding indirect and nonliteral language

Teenagers encounter increasingly complex language as they move through high school, employment preparation and community life.
Consider whether the teenager can:
Recognize when someone is being literal
Understand common idioms
Interpret sarcasm when there are sufficient contextual clues
Recognize teasing
Identify ambiguity
Understand implied requests
Ask what someone means when language is unclear
Explain when they prefer direct communication
Recognize that the same words can have different meanings depending on context
ASHA identifies figurative and ambiguous language, inference and understanding information that is not explicitly stated among areas that may form part of social communication.
A neuro-affirming approach does not assume that the autistic teenager is always responsible for interpreting an ambiguous message.
Sometimes the clearest solution is simply:
“Please say exactly what you mean.”

6. Recognizing and repairing communication breakdowns

Communication breakdowns happen to everyone.
For autistic teens, useful strategies may include:
Recognizing when someone has misunderstood them
Saying “That's not what I meant”
Rephrasing an explanation
Asking someone to repeat themselves
Asking for clarification
Explaining that they need additional processing time
Using writing or another communication method when speech becomes difficult
Recognizing when a conversation is becoming overwhelming
Taking a break and returning later.
Communication repair is particularly important because it shifts the goal from “communicate perfectly the first time” to “have strategies for recovering when communication doesn't work.”
That is a much more realistic skill for everyday life.

7. Self-awareness and communication preferences

Communication isn't only about understanding other people.
Autistic teenagers can also benefit from understanding their own communication needs.
Consider whether the teenager can:
Identify situations where communication feels easy
Identify situations where communication feels difficult
Recognize signs that they are becoming overwhelmed
Identify when they need a break
Explain their preferred communication method
Tell others when they need additional processing time
Using writing or another communication method when speech becomes difficult
Identify sensory factors that affect communication
Taking a break and returning later.
Communicate boundaries
Ask for accommodations
Explain what helps them communicate effectively
These are important skills because communication support should ultimately increase agency and participation, rather than simply teaching a young person to behave in a more neurotypical way.

8. Social problem-solving

Social situations don't always have one correct answer.
Consider whether the teenager can:
Identify different possible solutions to a social problem
Consider how different people might interpret a situation
Recognize when there has been a misunderstanding
Ask for additional information before making assumptions
Identify when they need help
Decide when to continue a disagreement and when to take a break
Communicate a disagreement respectfully
Identify when a situation feels unsafe
Seek help from a trusted adult when necessary
The goal should not be to teach teenagers to suppress their reactions or automatically agree with others.
Instead, focus on flexibility, problem-solving, boundaries and self-advocacy.

9. Self-advocacy

As autistic teenagers move toward adulthood, self-advocacy becomes increasingly important.
Consider whether the teenager can:
Explain what helps them communicate
Request clarification
Ask for additional processing time
Ask someone to communicate more directly
Explain sensory or environmental factors affecting communication
Communicate when they are overwhelmed
Say no when appropriate
Express preferences
Ask for reasonable support
Participate in discussions about their education
Describe their strengths
Identify communication goals that matter to them
For students receiving special education services in the United States, self-advocacy and student participation are particularly relevant as they approach transition planning. The U.S. Department of Education's transition guidance emphasizes student strengths, preferences and interests, while its 2025 inclusive-education guidance highlights self-advocacy as an important part of self-determination.

10. Communication across different environments

A teenager may communicate very differently depending on the environment.
Consider communication at:
Home
Work
With close friends
With unfamiliar peers
With teachers
With employers or workplace supervisors
In community settings
Online
Through text or messaging
During stressful situations.
A teenager may have strong communication skills in one environment and need substantial support in another.
That doesn't necessarily mean the skills are “missing.”
It may mean the communication demands or environment have changed.
Recent research highlighted by ASHA also points to the importance of assessing adolescent communication in real-world contexts rather than relying solely on isolated clinical tasks.

What if an autistic teen doesn't check many boxes?

That's okay.
A teenager might have excellent communication skills in areas that matter most to them and find other areas difficult.
For example, an autistic teenager might:
  • communicate extremely well about a special interest
  • prefer written communication
  • struggle with spontaneous conversation
  • understand sarcasm but find facial expressions confusing
  • communicate confidently with friends but become overwhelmed in groups
  • understand what someone is saying but need additional time to formulate a response
Rather than asking:
“How do we make this teenager better at social skills?”
Try asking:
“What would make communication easier, more effective and more comfortable for this teenager?”

How parents can support social communication

Parents can help by creating opportunities for communication without turning every interaction into a lesson.
Follow their interests
Shared interests can provide natural opportunities for conversation.
Use direct language
If a message is important, don't make the teenager decode unnecessary ambiguity.
Explain hidden expectations
If a social convention matters, explain why it matters rather than simply saying, “That's what you're supposed to do.”
Give processing time
A teenager may understand a question but need additional time before responding.
Accept different communication styles
Communication does not have to look or sound neurotypical to be meaningful.
Practice real situations
Role-play can be useful when it is based on situations the teenager actually encounters.
Teach self-advocacy
Teach phrases such as:
“Can you say that another way?”
“I need a minute to think.”
“I understand the words, but I'm not sure what you mean.”
“I'd rather communicate by text.”
“I need a break.”
These are communication skills too.

How teachers can support autistic students

Teachers can make social communication easier by reducing unnecessary communication barriers.
Helpful strategies may include:
  • giving instructions in clear language
  • providing written information alongside verbal instructions
  • allowing processing time
  • explaining ambiguous expectations
  • avoiding unnecessary demands for eye contact
  • accepting alternative ways of demonstrating engagement
  • providing predictable routines
  • explicitly teaching unfamiliar social expectations
  • allowing appropriate communication alternatives
  • teaching peers about inclusive communication
  • providing opportunities for student self-advocacy
  • focusing on meaningful participation rather than conformity
For students approaching adulthood, communication skills can also be connected to education, employment, independent living and community participation.
The U.S. Department of Education's transition guidance emphasizes individualized planning based on a student's strengths, preferences and interests.

Social communication isn't just a teenager's responsibility

One of the most important principles in supporting autistic communication is remembering that communication is interactive.
If two people misunderstand each other, the solution isn't necessarily for the autistic person to change.
The communication environment may need to change too.
A teacher might use more explicit instructions.
A parent might give additional processing time.
A peer might learn that a friend prefers direct language.
An employer might provide written instructions.
And the autistic teenager can learn strategies for explaining their communication needs.
This creates a more balanced model.
Communication is something we build together.
Go Deeper

Want to explore these communication skills further?

SpeechScape’s Neurodivergent SEL course takes a practical approach to communication by exploring skills that can help neurodivergent learners better understand communication, self-awareness and social interaction.
The course includes 100 audio examples recorded by a professional actor, giving learners opportunities to explore how changes in vocal communication can influence meaning.
Topics include areas such as:
  • Paralinguistic communication (How you say it)
  • Interoception and self-awareness
  • Indirect and direct communication
  • Social awareness
  • Relationship skills
  • Nonverbal communication
  • Understanding communication in everyday situations
Rather than focusing on making autistic people appear “less autistic,” the course can be used as a resource for exploring communication differences and developing greater awareness of how communication works.
100+ audio examples | 33 topics | Lifetime access
explore the course

A note for parents and educators

A checklist like this should never replace an individualized assessment by a qualified professional.
If communication difficulties are significantly affecting a teenager's education, relationships, emotional wellbeing, employment preparation or everyday participation, consider discussing the situation with an appropriately qualified speech-language pathologist or other relevant professional.
ASHA recommends that social communication assessment consider multiple sources of information, different contexts and the individual's cultural and communication environment.
Most importantly, involve the teenager.
Their perspective matters.
Ask:
“What communication situations are easiest for you?”
“What situations are hardest?”
“What would you like other people to understand about how you communicate?”
Those questions may tell you more than a checklist ever could.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are social communication skills?

Social communication skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with other people. They can include conversation, understanding language in context, interpreting nonverbal and paralinguistic cues, repairing misunderstandings and communicating needs.

What social communication skills might autistic teenagers find difficult?

This varies considerably. Some autistic teenagers may find conversation, indirect language, interpreting tone, nonverbal communication, social problem-solving or communication repair challenging. Others may have strong skills in these areas but experience difficulties in particular environments or under stress.

Is this checklist an autism assessment?

No. This is an educational resource, not a diagnostic or clinical assessment. A teenager's communication should be considered in context and with attention to their individual strengths, preferences, culture and communication methods.

Should autistic teens be taught to make eye contact?

Eye contact should not be treated as a requirement for successful communication. Some autistic people find eye contact distracting, uncomfortable or overwhelming. The more useful question is whether the teenager has a comfortable way to demonstrate engagement and communicate effectively.

How can teachers support autistic students with social communication?

Teachers can use clear language, allow processing time, provide written information, explain implicit expectations, accept different communication styles and create opportunities for self-advocacy. Support should focus on meaningful participation rather than simply making autistic students appear more neurotypical.

Can social communication skills be taught?

Yes. Specific communication strategies can be explicitly taught and practiced. However, teaching should be individualized and should focus on useful skills that support the teenager's goals, relationships, independence and self-advocacy.

What is paralinguistic communication?

Paralinguistic communication refers to features of spoken communication that influence meaning beyond the actual words, including tone, pitch, volume, rate, stress, rhythm, and intonation.

Why is self-awareness important for autistic teenagers?

Understanding one's own communication preferences, sensory needs, emotional responses and support requirements can help teenagers advocate for themselves and make communication more effective.

Is SpeechScape's course suitable for autistic teenagers?

SpeechScape's online course explores paralinguistic and interoception skills for neurodivergent people and includes audio examples demonstrating aspects of vocal communication. Parents, educators and allied-health professionals can explore the course to determine whether its content is appropriate for a particular learner.
100+ audio examples | 33 topics | Lifetime access
explore the course

U.S. Resources for Parents and Educators

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA)

ASHA's Practice Portal provides information about autism, social communication, assessment and intervention. Its guidance also discusses neurodiversity and the importance of considering individual and cultural communication differences.
ASHA's Practice Portal

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

The CDC provides information about autism for families, educators and healthcare providers, including resources relating to communication and interaction.

U.S. Department of Education: Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA)

The Department of Education's IDEA resources provide information about special education, IEPs and transition planning for students with disabilities.
IDEA

The Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS), Transition Activities

The Department's transition guidance emphasizes planning around a student's strengths, preferences and interests and preparing students for education, employment and other postsecondary goals.
OSERS Transition Activities

U.S. Department of Education: Self-Advocacy

Federal inclusive-education guidance identifies self-advocacy as an important aspect of self-determination and encourages schools to provide students with opportunities to develop and practice self-advocacy skills.
Building and Sustaining Inclusive Educational Practices (Link to external PDF)
NEURODIVERGENT SEL • AGES 13+

Make Communication Easier to Understand

Help neurodivergent teens explore the parts of communication that often go unspoken, from tone and social cues to emotional awareness and nonverbal communication. A practical, neurodiversity-affirming course designed for learning, understanding, and informed choice.
100+ audio examples | 33 topics | Lifetime access
explore the course
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